Striptease or Strip Sirloin?

One day, I was angsting to a chef friend about an upcoming dinner party. I wasn’t so sure I was a very good cook. He told me to remember that cooking was seduction.

Whaah?

Okay, that made my angst shoot to Woody Allen levels. Here I was thinking I could master some techniques to get me through the evening but now he’s telling me it’s “not all about technique” but something more indefinable? I needed to become the Dita Von Teese of the kitchen?? Really????

Once I climbed down from the ledge, I thought about what he meant. All right, I can see where this might be going… seduction is enticement. Literally leading someone astray. But from what to what? Making pork belly so good your kosher vegan friend goes for it? Getting the Lipitor-taker to indulge in the potatoes fried in duck fat? Holding crème brulee under the I’ve-got-10-more-pounds-to-lose dieter’s nose? This is sounding more S & M than seduction.

Wait. Hold on. I’ve got it. I’ve been going in the wrong direction entirely! Maybe he didn’t mean seduce the people. Maybe he meant seduce the food. Like:
--Gently coax the food into giving up its secrets. (Take time with the short ribs; don’t rush them.)

OR

--Get the ingredients to go where they haven’t gone before. (Introduce foie gras to rhubarb.)

“Don’t I need [ahem] technique to do be able to do this?”

“It helps but, as with anything (anyone) you’re wanting to seduce, what’s more important is attitude. You need to let it know you want it. Not something else, it. In other words, celebrate the apple; don’t wish it were a plum. And you are going to help it be its best in this moment, in this dish.”

Sadly for me, he didn’t actually say any of this. He really did mean I should seduce my dinner guests. Not with sex or even food, exactly, but with charm and confidence about the food. Ugh. I need a foolproof, kickass recipe or some pointers and he gives me admonitions to be charming and confident. Oh, right, I forgot; let me get them out, I keep them with the silver and good china.

He meant well, and he's right. But, I think I’ll try seducing the food. After all, food has been seducing me for all these years, time to turn the, uh, tables. (Ba-dump-bump)